Friends.  

Honestly I don't just regard anyone as my friend. It takes sometime for me to feel that we actually will get along well. I don't like to make mistakes choosing the wrong friends.

Definition of friends to me: Someone I can share my happiness and sorrows with them. They are people who don't judge and I can just freely be myself, I won't have to think what to say, what to react, etc. Like there's no consideration for actions needed other than words I spoke. Friends listens, advice and comfort you.

So if there's a question popping out saying " Can everyone be friends? "
My answer is a no. They says my horoscope people blends in well with everyone and everyone feels comfortable with them. However I am not like that.

Feelings



I don't usually judge unless you have the face or your behavior which tells me who you are. Most of the time I just follow what I feel. If I like it, I like it. When I don't, I don't. There's no negotiation available, there's nothing called "somewhere in the middle of like and don't like".

If I feel that I can't get along, I am awkward, I am uneasy. I am. I don't lie about how I feel. Who does? Unless for people who says "I love you" without even loving the other party a single bit. I pity them.



Sometimes I really wished there's an emotion/feeling switch. So I don't have to feel anything awful or what I don't wish to feel or be bothered.

I hate the feeling of someone telling me how I am going overboard when I am not or in comparison I am just making a minor mistake while the other person is making a major mistakes. It's not fair.

I hate the feeling when someone is trying to snatch something/someone from me. okay? I really hate that.

I hate the feeling where I got blamed for your assumptions.
There's more, see I need the switch. I don't want to feel all these or feel these way.



Lyrics:

My heart is weathered Tired from the pain I thirst for something more Than any worldly gain They try to break me Steal the love you give So I need you more Every moment of the day I cry out And you answer Cuz you love me As I am I am broken you are perfect But you love me As I am So give me a heart To love like you do Fill it with joy To be more like you (x2) I cry out And you answer Cuz you love me As I am I am broken you are perfect As I am In a land of broken dreams I know that you redeem healer of our scars protector of our hearts desperate to be free people chasin what they see a race without and end when it's pain that you can mend I cry out And you answer Cuz you love me As I am I am broken you are perfect But you love me As I am.



  Friday 7/12

Labels: #alexandracmx, #As #I #Am, #awful, #diary, #feelings